Today was a great day! I had my final appointment with my doctor. I don't have to see her again for another year! I've healed well and have been cleared to resume my normal activities.
I haven't attempted to hoop again, but I might this weekend.
This entire experience has truly been life changing. I've gotten so much growth, perspective and insight in the last few weeks it's incredible.
The doctor showed me the pictures of my insides. The large tumor was really really large, and even the small ones were not as small as I envisioned them. They protruded in a way that no doctor really explained to me. In a sense I feel like the fibroid tumors were downplayed by my doctors for the last 5 years until now that one was out of control.
One of the lessons of this is that I really want to help educate women and girls about their bodies and reproductive systems. I feel that there is just so much I didn't know and I still don't know.
There are so many things to explore and discuss, for example my resistance to the surgery in general, it kept me in pain for much longer than needed.
But with that being said, I simply was not 100% comfortable with the other 2 doctors I had. My pain only improved in waves.
Just over a year ago it got worse again, I went to the clinic and requested an ultrasound. Once it was complete and my doctor went over it. I felt like I got scolded for having asked for this, yes I had the tumors, nothing had changed. Why did I come in? There's nothing she can do, but give me stronger hormones or surgery.
I was so sad and upset. I couldn't explain what made the pain worse and what didn't. I had such a hard time believing there were no other options.
Today I saw the endometrial tissue that was binding my organs together...it's amazing that we live in a world where this is all possible. I'm still blown away by that.
Luckily my endometriosis was not too out of control and Dr. Pedroso felt good about it. Good in the sense of: we caught early enough.
It was really the 5 fibroid tumors that were causing so much pain and trouble.
For so many years, I blamed my digestion, exhaustion ect. on my pain.
How challenging it was to find the right situation in which I could meet the right doctor and get this done.
I am so grateful.
I feel young again...I feel good.
I hope I can help other women find relief and strength in their bodies again. I realize now I felt defeated for a very very long time.
I'm getting a little stronger everyday, I shall embrace this feeling and never take it for granted again.
Thank you for reading this very personal story of mine, I hope that you use this to help other women and teach our daughters, sisters and mother's about our complex systems .
I was looking for an image to add to this post...I came across the BEST image ever!
Well it's week 5 and I feel pretty awesome. Not awesome enough to hoop though, I tried that yesterday and I think the stitches are too fresh still because they were uncomfortable. According to the doctor, it will take a total of 5-6 months for the stitches to fully dissolve.
It's been a very healing experience this surgery business, aside from the physical healing, I've become aware of many emotional scarring the situation produced.
And with that, my last follow up appointment is this Friday along with possibly my last 2 yoga classes to be taught here in Las Vegas. I'm a reverse transplant...so many people leave the Midwest to come here, but I'm the opposite. California I could do...but Nevada...our time is up.
I was planning on leaving the week of July 21, however, I am growing desperate and extremely anxious due to the heat.
Just today I went to run an errand. I thought I was going to die, it was only 97 degrees, in the grand scheme of things this is Las Vegas and triple digits are so very normal here. Today will top off at 102. I KNOW because I lived here for 10 years before, that the worst is yet to come. July can easily reach 115+ temps, so this is nothing. Here's some cement buckled in my neighborhood..just to give you taste :)
But you know what, I don't care. It's enough for me and I need to get out. This doesn't feel normal to me. My dog and I are basically quarantined for over 12 hours a day in one single air conditioned room. I barely sleep at night because I can't run the AC all night. I'm a light sleeper and it's just too loud.
Can you tell I'm frustrated??? LOL
Sorry friends, it's so hot I can't seem to vent enough! LOL
I spoke with one of my yoga students yesterday, we had an amazing class btw. And she was from the Bay Area. She moved here because it's cheaper, but still visits San Francisco every 4-6 weeks.
After 20 minutes, she told me I should move there, that the lifestyle would fit me.
That progressive thinkers and actions are so much more available, and I know that. And the end goal after getting this Master's degree is to end up in Northern California. It's OK if it's not the Bay, I met with a rep from UC Davis last year and they do in fact have a Geography Dept.
I'm going to apply for as many PhD programs as possible when the time comes.
I'd love to be several hours away from here...just not here.
We'll see. For now my focus is getting the trip back to Illinois ironed out, my driving buddy, packing the Upod, and lastly tying any loose ends here. Which honestly aside from saying good bye, there aren't any.
I hope I can work this summer at Stonehouse Farm again during the yoga retreats.
I long for the feeling of LOVING summer again, 14 years in a place where summer is celebrated, to this is a BIG change...a little too much for me.
Even if I only visit one street festival in Chicago, my summer will be made.
We had the Electric Daisy Carnival here this weekend, 10 years ago such an event might have interested me. Now I just find myself being irritated at all the people with EDC written in the back of their windows driving badly lol.
I do hope to do Coachella someday...hell, burning man for that matter....but then again...a week in the Nevada desert with NO AC??!!! Perhaps not.
And hey, this year I'll be back in school and that my friends is the silver lining.
There are extremely positive things all around me....I'm just too damn hot to see it LOL!
BE in Chicago soooooooooonnnn!!!! :)
Yoga this Friday June 27, 2014
7pm Ashtanga Primary Series
Blue Sky Yoga LV
Ahhh the beauty of life and how the universe speaks to you. So with all the awesomeness I was feeling last week, very excited to start work again etc., I was gently awakened back to reality yesterday morning and I've sort of had a rebirth.
So last week I mentioned having interviewed at a couple of massage places and having chosen one etc.
I had agreed to taking an extremely low pay because I'm so excited/desperate to work. I was genuinely excited.
On Saturday I gave a massage to a friend, he's about 6ft maybe a little taller, about 200lbs or so I'm totally guessing, but a big guy (what I'm trying to say!). And of course I had some trouble sleeping and woke up at 5am and felt some pain and discomfort in my arms. And it's perfectly logical, all last week I gave more massages than I have in weeks and I worked on someone who has a very physical job and a lot of muscle to work on. It reminded me how much massage really takes affects the body. No, I wasn't dying or anything.
It was normal soreness, similar to how you feel after a workout.
But I realized then and there that I cannot work for a fraction, almost a third of what I am used to making.
They tried really hard to get me to work there and offered me a little more, but I knew right then that it was a bad bad choice AND I'd like to have more say in WHO my clients are.
I've been doing this for 15 years and I guess that's the problem, I can only work for myself at this point.
I would consider working at Thousand Waves in Chicago again if that opportunity presented itself, I was there for 8 years and absolutely love the place. They treated us really great too!
So that's it, my eyes got peeled open and I'm going to keep subbing yoga and doing whatever I can for the next two months.
IN OTHER NEWS...
I guess it's time to make it a PSA:
My wonderful mother strongly supported me in making the following decision:
I'm moving back to Southern Illinois in early August sometime!! I'll be a graduate assistant in the Geography Department and I'll be working on my Master of Science in Geography and Environmental Resources!!!!!!
It looks like I'll be helping with Weather, Climate and Society...one of my favorite college courses ever!
I love me some weather! LOL...I would rather insert a cheesy selfie here but, it's too much work :)
Anyway, I'll be there for at least the next two years and I'm also considering moving right on to a PhD program after that hopefully in California somewhere. I really want to be closer to the family, but my mom is super excited and supportive and I really want to take this step too...I've been wanting this for the last 2 years.
It's funny how people have tried to talk me out of it or have negative things about this idea and frankly I don't think I need to defend it. But I probably will in another post just because...I'm an Aries damn it..we're confrontational! LOL
It's really simple, I'm passionate about the environment and Latin America. There are not enough American scientists looking into these issues and I think it's necessary. The Europeans are there looking at climate change in Central America, one of the worlds Biodiversity hotspots.
I've even picked out my thesis topic already!
I want to research the effects of a proposed canal that China wants to build through Nicaragua.
It's totally nuts, they want it bigger than the Panama canal and over 300km in length!
Not only will the project displace thousands of indigenous people, but it will cut through Lake Nicaragua..the largest body of freshwater in ALL of Central America!!!!!!
China and Nicaragua have already signed a contract to begin construction by late this year.
The U.S. has stated a lack of excitement, but no strong opposition..even the environmental groups haven't really picked it up yet. I don't know why.
Anyway..I'm really excited because I love the topic and I actually do enjoy research :)
And for those wondering:
NO..I'm not going to stop learning, practicing or teaching Yoga
NO..This doesn't mean I don't have ANY other dreams
NO..Going to further my education does not change who I am or my purpose in this world
Yes, I want to contribute more
Yes, I'd like to be a role model for other young Hispanic women to pursue careers in science or anything else they desire.
Yes, I'd like to be a college professor some day..why not?
So for now, I'm looking to only work in Las Vegas until August 1st before we pack up and head back to the Midwest. Doesn't mean I won't come back..I'm rooted to this place for a long time to come...but not forever :)
ll my services are discounted. If I get enough requests I'll stop in Chicago before heading to Carbondale. I need to be there no later than August 12-13, 2014.
Looking to stop in Denver, Omaha and hopefully Chicago and Champaign.
Thank you again for checking in with me on this amazing journey called LIFE!
I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since the surgery. It feels like much longer. I started going for walks with Penny again one week ago today and we've been going pretty much every day since. We took 1 day off. I'm definitely healing rather fast! I still have pain for sure, I feel it mostly at the end of the day..especially if I do a lot, but really it's very minimal compared to the pain I was in before. I think that is contributing to my anxiousness and desire to get moving again! So in the best way possible, I am doing just that.
I GOT A NEW JOB TODAY!
I'm so very excited! I interviewed at 2 massage places in 2 days and one was definitely a better fit for many reasons. For one, I'll be in Henderson which is much closer to my house and it's close to All About Yoga.
I'll start working regularly at Massage Heights starting June 16th. (Warm Springs and Stephanie Rd)
I'm really excited to put my massage page back on the website and get the massage train rolling again.
It's taken MONTH'S for my license to come through and I got my liability insurance too, I'm ready!
I'll be training on some new techniques too, stone massage, face massage and they do some special foot scrub.
What's also rockin' is that I'll have plenty of time in the schedule to teach yoga!!
I'm hoping to sub at Green Valley Ranch Spa, Blue Sky Yoga and All About Yoga.
Perhaps I'll add some workshops on there too. I won't be back at full steam till 4th of July weekend, so don't worry ( all you worriers : ) it's just massage for the next few weeks. Still no heaving lifting and not strenuous exercise until the full 6 week healing period is over. Good thing I already have a 4th of July party to go to ;)
Sure I have to keep the Ibuprofin near by and if I really over did it, I can take a stronger pain pill at night, but I really haven't needed those lately. I'm really beyond belief happy that I had this surgery.
The pain I feel now is so different, it IS a healing pain and it's ok, it's tolerable and I KNOW it's only going to get better!
In other matters...
My nephew Abraham graduates from high school next Friday. He has cerebral palsy and has had to work through many challenges at his age. We're so proud of him. My other nephew Fernando graduated from junior college last month too. This is the first time I've been able to be here for graduations and it's pretty awesome.
I love being here and being an aunt and daughter.
I won't lie either though..I struggle every day..the summers are extremely challenging for me.
Heat is not something I look forward to when June, July and August come round.
After 14 years in the Midwest it's funny, I grew to LOVE summertime.
Now that I'm back home it's the most dreaded time of the year for the whole family.
We're going to peak at 109 degrees on Monday. I can't stand it...our A/C can barely keep up and even the dog will not go outside in the afternoon. And it's just getting started.
I remember when I was in high school, I was in marching band(Tenor Sax for 2 years, Drum line for 1). We had a practice in early August and after we finished the teacher said: "Congratulations, you just marched in 115 degree weather!".
I was 16 back then....somehow more manageable. lol. It's much more challenging today.
I think of people that move here from elsewhere for the "weather"...and I think that I don't understand them.
I wish I had what they have to make me love this dry, no tree, no water having place.
But oh well. There it is, my silly challenge that must be over come because I'm spending precious time with my family...time that I will never get to repeat, relive or recreate in anyway.
The gifts they have given me are priceless and incredible...I'd be a fool to actually complain ;)
Seasoned Yogini, Massage Therapist, Dancer, Lover and Animals, the divine feminine and so much more!! This blog contains my musings, stories of challenges, inspiration and the other things that make me human in this realm. NAMASTE